Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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