at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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