i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
