I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
