NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
