just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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