Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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