You work out of a Hotel?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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