What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
