wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
