4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
