Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
