My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
