Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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