so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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