After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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