If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
