Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
