Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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