Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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