Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
