a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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