Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
