Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
