So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
