They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just gargled with NyQuil
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
