Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize