mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
