my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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