Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
