I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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