i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
