Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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