so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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