But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
