Where did you get a picture of my penis
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
