You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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