We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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