I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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