real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
