We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
