my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
