Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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