Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
