Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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