I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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