I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
