I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize