maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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