I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
