I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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